A few tips on destressing this holiday season

The feelings leading up to the holidays are often a combination of excitement, wonder, anticipation…and sometimes a sprinkling of stress, agony, and disappointment. Let’s just put it all out there on the table: The holidays aren’t always sunshine and rainbows and, for some, can be filled with irritability, anxiety, chaos, and depression.

The key to eliminating those feelings is not in this article, sorry to report. However, please keep reading for ways to help you take back control, stay present, and feel a little more balance this season. Cue the champagne pop!

Plan Ahead
A good, old-fashioned list can go a long way and it can be satisfying to cross things off. Organize your holiday to-dos by category so you can make as few trips to the store and supermarket as possible.

While you’re planning, also plan to make a dedicated space in your house for wrapping/gifts. Ideally, all your tape, paper, tags, and ribbon will fit in a plastic bin that you can pull out and place in its temporary home for the season.

Financial Woes
Especially during the holidays, money can feel tight across the board. Set spending limits with your office, family, and friends, and stick to them. Send a Christmas email newsletter instead of cards plus all that postage. Draw names with the little ones in your family so each child gets one gift from another child. Do the same with adults. Set a price max and get the person you drew something they really want.

The Power of No
“Just say no,” should be applied and accepted much more widely than it is. Guess what? When someone invites you to a party that you know is going to overcrowd your weekend, require the cost of a babysitter, Uber, and hostess gift and, quite frankly, you’re just not feeling it…there is only one response. “No, thank you.” You don’t owe anyone an explanation and you don’t need to make up an excuse. That’s it. RSVP with regrets and move on.

Outsource
Quite often we are paying for convenience when it comes to certain goods and services, right? There is no better time like the holiday season to splurge on conveniences. Get groceries delivered and tip your driver. Stop by Magnolia Foods or Peakland Catering for last-minute treats, ham biscuits, and snacks. Order a cheese board from Purple Door Gourmet Kitchen. Pick up a case of wine from Everyday Sommelier or Reserve and have a gift on hand for last minute holiday visitors. Buy a loaf of cottage cheese dill bread from Montana Plains and make someone (that someone can be you!) very happy.

What Gives
Take the guesswork out of it and support local businesses while making your people smile. Did you draw the name of an avid exerciser when your family drew names for Secret Santa? Buy them a gift card to Iron and Grace, Prana, or James River Yoga and they can use it how and when they want. Foodie friend on your list? Get them a gift card to Grey’s on Fifth or the new Hill City Donuts. Would a clean house make your receiver smile? Hire a local housekeeper to tidy up. Would your people prefer an experience? A gift card to Rise Up Climbing would be well received by everyone. A win all the way around is to donate to a favorite charity in honor of the receiver.

Tips from a Pro
“All of our feelings are generated by what we think,” said Life Coach Kristin Dabney. “It isn’t something happening outside of us that creates our feelings. Rather it is our interpolations, opinions, and thoughts about the situation. For instance, if you were ready by October 1st for the holidays, when you realize it is a week until the holidays, you will most likely feel elated, ready, excited, prepared. However, if you have not begun any holiday prep and you realize it is a week before, you may feel behind, frazzled, pressured—in a word ‘overwhelmed.’ The number of days until the holidays is neutral until you have a thought about it.”

Decide in advance how you want to feel this holiday season: Calm, joyful, motivated, hospitable, spiritual, faithful, organized, generous? And choose thoughts that create these feelings.

“Thoughts like, ‘No matter the state of my home I look forward to hosting people this holiday,’ or ‘I plan to give of my time this season and talents instead of giving gifts, so I don’t overextend myself financially,” Dabney expanded.

Write down everything you want or need to do this holiday season. Then, look at the whole list and decide what you can actually remove. Next, what can you delegate on the list? You do not have to do everything on the list. Get creative about how you can accomplish all that you want to accomplish without you doing it all. Finally, assign a time and date on your calendar to everything left on your list. Be realistic about how much time each item will take.

“Then, and here is the biggie, honor what you add to your calendar,” she said.

Do you, or does someone you know, suffer from migraines? Given the statistics that 1 in 4 households in the US includes someone who suffers from these menacing headaches, it’s likely you do. Migraines are three times more likely to affect women than men, but they aren’t just the bane of adults—children can suffer from them as well.

Migraines are more than just a bad headache. Migrainous episodes are ignited deep within the base of the brain. Once activated, they set off a cascade of electrical and vascular changes across the brain which can result in a myriad of symptoms. Typical migraines present with moderate to severe, throbbing head pain. Additionally, as if throbbing head pain wasn’t enough, many migraineurs endure sensitivities to light, odors, sound, and touch, as well as experience various visual disturbances, nausea, and vomiting.

Migraineurs know “their” migraine patterns well, and because much has been written about food, smell, light, or noise triggers, they do their best to avoid their known triggers. Some will take preventative medications on a daily basis, which have been prescribed by their physicians—all in an attempt not to set off a migraine. When these preventative steps prove inadequate, and they sense a migraine beginning to brew, their last possible way to escape this “headache hurricane” is to take a prescribed, often times injectable, abortive medication. Sadly, if the abortive medication fails, a migraineur has no other choice but to cancel their plans for the day and seek the cover of a dark, quiet room to ride out the storm.

For decades now, managing migraines has been the best a migraineur can do. Copious books written on the subject discuss in great detail dietary and atmospheric triggers a migraineur would do best to avoid. Then, as a consolation, long lists of available medications, to be taken daily or abortively, are provided. But today, current research has revealed that there is a rarely-discussed, yet highly influential migraine trigger: the upper neck.

For 30+ years I have been treating head pain patients—many of them migraineurs—by using a hands-on (manual) physical therapy treatment approach. What I discovered long ago, and which has only recently been verified by neurologic research, is that muscle, joint, and disc dysfunction in the upper neck is a MAJOR migraine trigger!

To understand this better, think of potential head pain as a stick of dynamite. The length of the fuse depends on the individual. Researchers have discovered that a migraineur’s brain is more sensitive to stimuli than a non-migraine sufferer. This means a migraineur has an inherently shorter “fuse.” The “matches” in this analogy would be headache triggers such as stress, food sensitivities, surrounding noise levels, bright or flashing lights, low barometric pressure, and upper neck dysfunction. When enough of these matches are bundled together, they can flame up sufficiently enough to ignite the fuse. Then—KABOOM—a migraine explodes on the scene!

What I have seen, time and time again, is that by removing the “match stick” of upper neck dysfunction—which is a very large match when compared to the other triggers—the rest of the would-be triggers can’t build enough “heat” to the light the fuse. This method of head pain treatment has been successful even with those patients whose migraines are tied to their monthly hormonal cycles.
At last—you can quit managing your migraines, and instead, put an end to them!

So, what do you need to do to break free from a lifetime of migraines? Find yourself a healthcare practitioner who has the necessary keys to unlock your upper neck dysfunction. This person will need to be highly skilled; able to address joint, muscle and disc problems; and be knowledgeable in offering you guidance regarding the best postures (sleeping, sitting, and standing) and ergonomic sets ups to enhance the hands-on treatment they’re dispensing.

This approach sounds so much better than being married to medication, doesn’t it?

Lisa Morrone, PT is an orthopedic, manual, physical therapist and prolific author who practices privately in Forest, VA. Contact Lisa through her website: www.LisaMorrone.com and sign up for her Monday Morning Health Tips! Also check out her book, Overcoming Headaches and Migraines, available on Amazon.com.

HOW TO TRANSFORM YOUR THOUGHTS WHEN LIFE GETS TOUGH

“The unthankful heart discovers no mercies; but the thankful heart will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings.” – Henry Ward Beecher

We often see cards, plaques and decorations boasting words such as “grateful” or “give thanks.” Don’t we all wish for more sentiments of gratitude and appreciation these days? Yeah, me too!

Rising quickly in my professional journey, this driven, energetic and successful young professional was on her way to a life of comfort and contentment. But what happens when the plans you’ve made, the life you’ve built, comes to a screeching halt? Can you be grateful? Can you find the good?

How do you find and maintain gratitude and joy when you get a cancer diagnosis? When you lose a family member suddenly? When you walk alongside an addict who’s trying to get sober? When you can’t get up every day and do the job you love?

Well, I learned how because that was my life in 2017. My husband and I had purchased a 17-acre farm in Bedford County and were on our way to open the vision God had given us—the Sanctuary Farm and Retreat Center, a place for people to come for rest, peace, dreaming and praying in solitude.

Our full-time jobs were going great. Our families were happy. And just like that, everything changed. Within one year, I was on hiatus from work after having a double mastectomy due to breast cancer, my father-in-law died of pancreatic cancer, we were caregiving for loved ones as a result of a family member’s addiction—all within the same year. We learned how to fight for the very thing we were building, for “Sanctuary,” and we were learning how to live a life of gratitude, despite all that was happening in our lives.

With a background in psychology and as a life transformation coach, I had studied the brain. But knowing how the brain works and leaning into the research are two different things. Research has proven that thoughts create actions, and actions create habits, and habits create life patterns. Meaning, what you think about matters.

People tend to filter events and circumstances in one of two ways: with a positive lens or negative lens. You know the old adage, “Is your glass half full or half empty?” Turns out, science has proven that if you’re a glass-half-empty thinker, it leads to more mental and physical stress and has been known to increase the prevalence of certain health conditions such as cardiovascular disease, hypertension, immune function, and panic attacks, just to name a few.

But, there’s hope! By shifting the way you look at things on a regular basis, numerous studies show you can transform your thinking patterns and, ultimately, transform your life. I learned how to do this through my own hard circumstances and you can too.

Here are four ways to find your own Sanctuary and live “in gratitude.”

1. Think about what you’re thinking about. By bringing your default negative thoughts to the forefront and questioning them, you actually stop the subconscious negativity from having free reign.

2. Eliminate extremes. “I’ll never be able to.” “Things can’t change.” “That won’t work.” All of these statements limit or rule out possibilities. Instead of these statements, open your mind up to possibilities. Here are some questions to help get you out of extreme thinking:
• What’s possible here?
• What could I do differently?
• What’s one step I can take?
• What am I in control of?

3. Reframe. When negative things happen or you find yourself defaulting to glass-half-empty thinking, learn to reframe. When I received my breast cancer diagnosis, fear, worry and dread for what was to come were consuming me. I had to learn to reframe thoughts and feelings away from the negative. Here are some questions to help you reframe:
• What are my options?
• How can I best prepare for the journey ahead?
• What can I learn through this about myself and my strength?
• What are the opportunities in the midst of the “hard”?
• What can I still do despite this challenge?

4. Celebrate what’s good. When life isn’t going as planned or you have a season of hardship, it’s important to find and celebrate the good. Some ways to do this include:
• Slow down and savor the first sip of your morning coffee.
• Play your favorite music and linger in your comfy chair for a few minutes.
• Journal the positives in your life.
• Do something healthy for yourself daily.
• Subscribe to positive podcasts or TED talks, and get in the habit of making these part of your daily or weekly routine.
• Be a “noticer” of the beauty in a day.

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Sources:

www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/positive-thinking/art-20043950

www.amazon.com/Deadly-Emotions-Understand-Mind-Body-Spirit-Connection/dp/0785288082

greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_gratitude_changes_you_and_your_brain